


White Sea

by KawaiiNinja



Category: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (TV 2012)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Healing, Psychological Torture, Psychological Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-28
Updated: 2021-01-28
Packaged: 2021-03-14 19:27:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29051367
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KawaiiNinja/pseuds/KawaiiNinja
Summary: Mikey has been captured and put through some psychological torture. The orange clad turtle now associating the color white with pain.
Comments: 2
Kudos: 26





	White Sea

**Author's Note:**

> Enjoy this angsty oneshot! 
> 
> Chapter contains psychological white torture.

Numbness. He couldn't feel a thing. He was stuck in this empty void, blank-white. How many days had it been? He couldn't tell there was no window, there was no light. Time didn't matter, so everything felt like an eternity. There was no sound either, even when he opened his mouth to scream. It didn't echo, it simply came out silent. He knew he was screaming because he could feel the vibrations in the back of his throat.

The turtle couldn't even see himself either. His body was white, it smelled like white mortar and salt. What did they do to him? He couldn't remember. There was a plate in front of him, also white filled with white rice.

White. White. White. White. _WHITE_. He wanted to scream, and he did, clutching the sides of his head in morbid horror.

White was a pure color, but here he was deprived of everything. The blank color boring into his own soul. It felt like a prison, it felt like hell.

The only way he could escape from it was to fall asleep, let himself drift into the darkness. He didn't know which was worse, a dark void, or blank white. Though he was at least grateful that sleep wasn't white either. Though his dreams didn't help, they haunted him. Sometimes he would dream nothing but an empty ocean of white.

And then he woke up, back into this hellhole. How long had it been? Days? Months? Years? And.... who was he?.... He remembered a few days ago, but then it suddenly washed away, his mind blank. The blankness had seeped itself into his brain. He couldn't feel anything.

What was his name? Who was he? These thoughts tortured him. Why was he here? Why was he alive or.... what if he wasn't?

And then something happened... _noise_. A space of the whiteness had ripped apart, revealing another color. Gray. Something he had never seen. Mikey screamed, scrambling back in terror as he could suddenly hear himself. There were three forms running into the room. But they weren't white, the colors, he did not know. What were they he didn't know...

The colors were disturbing him, getting too close. They were too bright. "Mikey!"

 _Touch._ He let out another shrill scream at the sensation of contact.

"Mikey! It's me!" The form knelt down in front of him.

"What the shell did they do to him?!" The other growled, his voice menacing and terrifying him.

"White torture.... they locked him in nothing but white to deprive him. We have to take him back to my lab NOW!"

Mikey thrashed against the contact that grasped him, it burned as he screamed. "I'm sorry, Mikey," two fingers were pressed against his neck, and he suddenly could no longer move. His head was hanging a bit, though someone moved it to rest on a shoulder. And then they left the white room. The turtle's deprived senses were now into overdrive, overwhelming him. Colors everywhere, noises burning into his ear drum, light hurting his eyes. Though he couldn't move, he shut his eyes tightly, screaming.

* * *

Then he woke up to find himself laying down. There were soft voices whispering. "I can't believe they did this to him..."

"I'll kill those bastards!"

"So they locked him into a white room?"

"Correct, White Torture is a form of psychological torture, that includes extreme sensory deprivation and isolation. The victim is deprived of all senses, and it causes them to lose sense of identity and hallucinate."

"Shell..." someone cursed.

"So he doesn't remember us or who he is?... Is there a cure, Donnie?"

"Sadly, no. There is nothing that can be done to reverse the effects of the psychological pain he endured..."

"So what? We leave him like this?!"

"We can try different modes of therapy to try to get him to cope, and to retrain his brain to understand who he is and who we are. Though he may never be able to sleep again without the use of pills."

He opened his eyes, gazing around. So many colors, he winced. But that's when he saw himself. He wasn't white anymore, his skin was.... green.... dotted with darker green dots. Something tan over his stomach. What was he? Three fingers, and three toes and a darker shell on his back. And that's when he spotted it, he was lying on a cot that was white.

Mikey screamed, leaping up startling the three turtles. "MIKEY!" They had to hold him down, strapping him down to the bed. No, no, no, why were they doing this?! He didn't want to touch the white!

"Leo! I need you to get a blanket that isn't white and cover the cot with it!" Donnie ordered. The blue masked turtle nodded his head, fleeing from the lab to get the designated item. Once he returned the straps were loosened as Mikey was held up the blanket covering the whiteness of the bed before he was settled back onto it.

"White... white..." Mikey blinked, confused. It was just there and now covered with another color.

"It's okay, Mikey. You're going to be okay," a hand touched his shoulder gently.

"Mikey?..." he could see the pain on the turtle's face.

"That's your name," he replied.

"Color," Mikey reached out towards him. Donnie cleared his throat, yet allowed Mikey to touch his bandana.

"My bandana is purple, see? This is the color of purple." Donnie turned to Raph and Leo. "Raph is red," he pointed. "Leo is blue," he gestured to the leader.

"Purple... Donnie..." Mikey blinked confused. He pointed at Raph, "Red... Raph... and... Blue.... Leo..."

"Do you know who we are?" Leo asked hesitantly, testing the youngest.

"No," Mikey shook his head. "I don't know you. I've never see you before," he shook his head. The three of them sighed sadly.

"We're your brothers," Donnie replied.

"Brothers?" Mikey's eyes widened. "W-what?..."

"It's okay, we won't hurt you. Just know you're safe now," Leo smiled at him, patting his shoulder barely, since he was sensitive to touch.

"Mikey..." the turtle touched himself, studying his body. It was strange.

"You are a mutant turtle, Mikey. Though your real name is Michelangelo."

"Michelangelo?" He tilted his head up, confused.

"Yes, and you're orange," Leo added.

"Orange?..." Leo reached into the belt to hold up the orange cloth.

"This is you." The orange bandana was placed onto Mikey's palms. The turtle scrutinized it.

"Funny color."

"Put it on," Leo pointed to himself. Mikey blinked, before doing as instructed. He tied it around his face and somehow the feeling felt familiar, though he could not name it.

"Where am I?" Mikey gazed around.

"We're in the lair, in Donnie's lab," Raph replied.

"Lair?..."

"It's our home. This is where we live and where you live."

"I live here?" Mikey blinked, feeling the straps being loosened he was now able to get off the cot.

"Donnie- I don't think that's..." Leo protested.

"We can't keep him tied down it might make things worse for him," the genius said.

Mikey's feet touched the floor, it was cold to the touch as he yelped. "It's okay," Donnie gestured. "See?" Mikey gazed at their feet before standing as he walked along the floor. It felt bizarre, it wasn't padding. The freckled turtle took in his surroundings until he spotted the centrifuge.

"Ah!" He scrambled back in terror. Donnie's eyes widened realizing what he was looking at.

"It's okay!" Mikey's arms were grasped.

"Let me go! Let me GO!" He screamed thrashing against the hands that touched him. Too much.... his scenes were overwhelming hurting him.

"Calm down!" Something jabbed into his arm, that caused him to scream like bloody murder.

"That sedative should calm him down." His body sank, breathing heavily.

"What are we going to do?" Raph asked. "Hide everything that is white in the entire lair?"

"No, I don't think that's a good idea," Leo shook his head. "They may have tortured him into using the color white against his mind, to associate it with pain. But- we can use therapy to try to make him relax so he's not so afraid right?" Leo met Donnie's gaze.

"It's worth a shot."

* * *

It had been months since the brothers rescued Mikey. Although Mikey could not remember anything about himself before the incident, he was starting to remember memories of his brothers.

Donnie has decided to take extensive therapy into his hands to try to get Mikey not so frightened of feeling and the color white. Though ever since they rescued Mikey, he could never sleep so he always had to down sleeping pills to coax him.

Mikey was sitting in a chair, dangling his legs. His personality had changed, but there was still his happy self. Guess they couldn't truly break his spirit and heart, even though they broke his mind. 

"Now I want you to relax," Donnie turned to face him. He held up a cotton ball. Mikey flinched, recoiling into the chair.

"WHITE!" He turned away, clutching the sides of his head chanting over and over to himself.

"Mikey... I need to look at it."

"N-no!" Mikey squeaked. "Pain... pain..."

Hands were touching him, and now instead of frightening him they were soothing him. Raph and Leo were both behind him.

"There is nothing to be afraid of, Mikey. See? It just a cotton ball, just because it's white doesn't mean it's dangerous." Mikey dared to lift his gaze, watching as Donnie squished the cotton ball against his own cheek. "It's not hurting me, see? It won't hurt you."

"But- but..." Mikey froze as the cotton ball neared him. He could feel Leo rubbing soothing circles on his shell to relax him. The cotton ball them touched his cheek as the youngest flinched.

"Deep breath, follow me, in and out," Donnie inhaled and exhaled. Mikey reciprocated him. "Good."

Mikey brought up a hand to the cotton ball, touching it. It was soft to the touch. "It's... soft..." he rolled it around gently on his palm. Though his mind was screaming, and heart was beating furiously inside his plastron. He didn't feel any pain.

"See? White isn't bad, it just a color like all the others," Leo was now kneeling down by his side. "Though colors can be associated with meanings, but they do not harm you. Those men from that freaky laboratory, wanting to experiment on mutants used the white to twist your mind and torture you. Does that make sense?"

"They tortured me?" Mikey lifted his gaze. "Who?"

"A team of scientists that should be in jail for their crimes," Donnie said.

"I'll kill them," Raph cracked his knuckles. "Next time I see 'em."

"Thanks... dudes... for saving me..." Mikey smiles. "Did I say that right?" He knew he could trust them, even though it was hard for his mind to do so in the beginning.

"Of course, Mikey. We would never leave you, Otouto," Leo pulled him into a hug. Mikey tensed a bit at the action, before allowing himself to relax.

It had been months, and he was making progress, but he still had a long journey ahead. He still wasn't used to loud noises, or receiving hugs or seeing the color white. Though he had to remind himself that it was okay.

They were even put on patrol one night when he saw a ninja with a white blade. His first reaction was to freeze, but then he found himself propelling himself forward at some unknown strength, knocking out the ninja in one hit. It must've been a hard one, since his brothers gasped, and the man was bleeding on the ground.

It was still hard to sleep at night, he could never sleep. He always had to take sleeping pills, but that was okay. It might not be years until he could sleep without them. Though Donnie has given him a soft white teddy. He was terrified of it at first, having ripped it apart, until Donnie sewed it back together. Now it was his buddy, he hugged it close.

It was okay to be afraid, but he didn't need to let it control it him anymore. White wasn't harmful, it was just a beautiful color like all the rest.


End file.
